Port placement-better than brain surgery

As we sit here, in the surgery waiting area at Vanderbilt, I cannot help but think of the last time we were here. Waiting again, but that time it was to see our sweet Judah’s face after his brain tumor resection surgery. We didn’t want to return to this place, discover our son’s tumor was growing, and face the horrible events from his 1st surgery. We prayed hard for no growth and then if it had to grow, please don’t make Judah have to go through brain surgery again. Please. Please don’t let him have to learn to walk and talk again. And I am overcome with gratitude to my God that we are not going through that again! Instead, perhaps as a small mercy, we are sitting, surrounded by excited and scared little faces, waiting for a much smaller surgery so we can begin this fight again with chemotherapy. John Piper says, it’s ‘a grace given in the circle of a grace denied’.

And so we wait. Thankful for the grace given

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First MRI after starting chemo

Tomorrow morning at 8:00am cst Judah will be receiving his first follow-up MRI scan to check the status of his tumor. Please join us in praying for:
-Easy ck in
-Peace for Judah and us
-No problems with anesthesia intubation
-Scan shows tumor is smaller or at least the same size
-Meeting with oncologist is comforting, informative, and productive
In other news, Judah has been doing wonderful this last week. His balance has her better and he has had little to no nausea. He is actually eating better. His emotions have been wonky but better than before. Thank you for praying for him, us. We see and feel it.

Brain has expanded to fill cavity in 4th vent (great news) and tumor appears to be the same size (No bigger for sure!) Dr said he is very happy with the scans and wants to see him back in 3 months. He thinks they will be able to see more clearly if it has shrunk in that scan. Great news! Jesus is so good to us!
Thank you for all your prayers!
~The Thacker Family

visits and progress

Judah has been working so very hard today. He sat up in bed, smiled and laughed while watching Brave, squished play-doh, sort of finger painted (he hates to have dirty hands), and then made Daddy and me feel like the funniest people in the world laughing and smiling while sitting in the rocking chair all by himself. The thing I noticed that was different about today vs yesterday is that when he was done working, he didn’t freak out. He didn’t flail and yell, he whined and then we put him in his bed and after some questions to figure out what he wanted, took a rest. Our Great God is providing comfort to our sweet frustrated little boy!
We had a ton of out of town visitors and Judah responded well to all of them. Thank you for making the drive to love on us and our boy.

waiting for significant change is hard

They prepared us for all of this. They told us he may lose his ability to talk or swallow or breath. I (wendi) was like the mom on the play ground who refuses to believe HER CHILD would ever hit another child. And now, here we are, 1 wk post-op and he is doing better but he isn’t better. He can’t/won’t talk. At first Matthew and I convinced ourselves it was his sore throat from the ventilator. Then is was all the sedation. Then his lack of natural sleep…Now, we don’t know. He can’t/won’t swallow. He will cough, clear his throat and then, instead of swallowing, he holds it in his mouth. We have to use the suction and clean it out. But he is breathing like a champ! The apnea seems to have gone away for now and that is a HUGE answer to prayer. So maybe 1 out of 3 ain’t too bad.
It seems bad though. I spent the evening here with him last night. I climbed in his bed (against PICU rules) and prayed to my God for healing. My child, who loves language and speech, and the art of pronunciation, will only, for now, communicate in grunts and swats. I prayed that God would give him back to us the way he was before the surgery. After all, He created him. That sweet little voice with big, big words was hand picked by our Savior for Judah. And I just want to hear it.
We spent yesterday afternoon pestering him by mispronouncing dinosaur names. Foolishly, I thought that if I irritated him enough he would just shake out of it and correct me.
They say it will take time. That he is improving slowly. That it may take a lot longer than we originally thought but “let’s give him the time”. Now they are talking about sending him home on a feeding tube. He isn’t showing any swallowing improvement. No talking improvement. What a thing to say in passing. Like it is of no real consequence how he goes home.
Judah is strong and strong-willed. Qualities both Matthew and I have. He will fight. He’s been in the PICU for over 2 wks now. His little spirit is so depressed. I refuse to believe that a broken spirit, feeding tubes and no communication, from the joyous, giggly, imaginative boy who LOVES to communicate, are part of God’s plan.
I finished my prayer last night begging God to do a glorious work in Judah. And restore his talking and swallowing. Do it fast. Cause, for no better reason than we are drowning, hope is harder to cling to, and this waiting for a significant change is so hard.